While I've been here, I've been spending most evenings with my mom and putting her to sleep. I think my mom is so cute and sweet at night, so I really love this time. Tonight was our last night, though, as I'll be leaving tomorrow. We spent some time this evening reviewing the progress that she has made during the time that I've been here, and while everything can feel very slow and small when you're here everyday, it's pretty amazing to lay it all out and compare. Here's a short list:
-My mom's right arm is able to stretch out much further, she can lift her right arm up off of the bed much higher, and she is able to open and close her right hand significantly better, as she could barely open it at all 2 weeks ago. It's VERY hard to explain these changes to people who don't see her, and there is still a lot of work to be done on this right arm. A lot. But for 2 weeks, the progress has been great.
- My mom's legs are getting stronger. Probably one of the most significant issues we've faced is her tendency to roll onto her right ankle when she stands. While this is still a very big issue, my mom's ankle is getting better at landing on the ground properly. When I first arrived, I also had to completely hold my mom up for her to stand. It was difficult and exhausting, but now, it often feels like I'm just holding on to her as a back up, should she fall. Today I realized that, without reminding her or making her, my mom chose to lean forward and to try standing up on her own, rather than to pull herself up by holding on to me. We've been working on this in therapy for a little while now, but seeing her use those moves and need us less is soooooo satisfying.
- Along the lines of becoming stronger, my mom is also getting more independent. While we've known for a couple of weeks now that she CAN wheel herself down the hall in her wheelchair, she has refused to do so unless her physical therapist is making her. Today, however, my mom was all of a sudden far more mobile in her chair. She rolled herself all over the room when she decided that she wanted to sit closer to someone, wanted to go to the fan, wanted to meet someone in the hallway, etc. We started talking to her about her freedom to go wherever she wants on the floor, and pointing out to her that she doesn't really need us to take her. It felt like the beginning of a new area of independence for her.
- My mom's appetite is increasing. Two weeks ago, you could count my mom's meals in the small number of bites she would take. Her PEG tube is still necessary for two big reasons - she isn't eating enough yet, and her swallow reflexes have yet to permit drinking thin, clear liquids; however, she is slowly eating more and more food, which is great for the goal of getting rid of the PEG.
- My mom's mind is better. She doesn't feel as "out of it" as she had been for such a significant amount of each day, and although she still has her moments of feeling "antsy," she has greater moments of feeling calm and "normal." When my mom doesn't feel like herself, she is now better able to explain to us how she feels, rather than being at a loss for words. I've mentioned it before, but my mom's memory has improved drastically and she can remember things from days and days ago with great consistency. My mom follows nearly all of our conversations, she articulates herself very well with nearly no struggle to find the correct words, and she is able to beat us in cards with strategy. Finally, she is getting her math back. I know I've said this before too, but tonight, we were talking about a close friend of ours who is struggling in calculus. My mom was saying how sorry she was that she wasn't available to tutor him, so my brother proceeded to try and recall enough calculus to maybe help. My brother asked my mom a few calculus questions, and she began reciting these formulas that no one but my brother knew if she was correct about or not. She was! It was insane. It's really hard to understand how her brain could have gone through what it did, but to still have knowledge like complex calculus so early on in the healing process.
While each day continues to bring its own struggles, I often think about the struggles we have already faced over the past 12 weeks. They've all been different. There have been the struggles of the unknown - not knowing when or if my mom would wake up, worrying that she would contract an infection, wondering what she would be like if she did wake up....the list goes on and on. Currently, I feel like we're facing struggles that are less unknown. We don't know what each day will bring, but we know that the healing isn't stopping, and we know that we're getting my mom back. It's hard work for everyone, especially for her, but we begged and pleaded for 6 weeks to have these hard days. We're so thankful and blessed that we get the chance to work our way back.
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