Sunday, December 16, 2012
Sunday December 16
Well there are weeks when it feels like little or nothing happens in Donna's growth and then there are weeks like this one. It wasn't physical or a skill being rediscovered, Donna redefined clarity of her mind this week. Her memory, her verbal engagement and her forward thinking just flew forward where we thought she had already made great strides, and then it was so much better. I have laughed with her so much this week. Awesome. There are still improvement spots and who knows she may redefine it again but even she has had to admit the amazing change.
Other things show that step improvement in awareness also, a couple times this week I spotted her fixing her hair in front of a mirror as we passed. This awareness of her appearance and a desire to fix it is great to see. It may even get her out of "guy-prepared" hair. Clearly a fate worse than death.
The other news of the week is that finally a surreal situation with Donna's shoes has been resolved. First we had a complete miss-fire of the planned shoes, then we couldn't find any that fit the brace foot, then style two started to create a red spot on her foot as she walked, then finally victory. It took ten pairs to get her two shoes that fit well. Despite hating to shop, I got it done with reasonable patience although I had a moment or two (right mom?). I really respect people who live with that challenge all the time. Donna's is temporary (we hope). With the shoes sorted we are off to walking more aggressively both in therapy and at home now. We brought her walker home to try out and, with some stewardship, Donna walked from the car to her living room chair. Awesome. Much more walking to follow when we get home. Our goal will be to render the wheel chair obsolete. It will take a while but we'll get there.
As we get close to leaving Galveston, Donna's impact on that community is becoming more clear. She will be very missed. In the midst of her own challenge she has charmed everyone there, served maternally to many and demonstrated such grace. Her roommates mother summarized it best to me when she said that Donna is such a fine person. That even with her challenges it shines through brightly. No complaints, hard work, camaraderie and encouragement to others. It really is amazing to see. Donna's old roommate (who is now in an apartment at the facility) calls Donna "mom" and invited her for coffee one evening this past week. The photos show much smiling and fun.
This weekend at home Donna started back to one of her favorite pastimes, reading. There has been no time for it in Galveston as her days are filled with therapy and fatigue but she really enjoyed herself and so looks forward to the peace and relaxation of reading at home. I have considered that she is searching for that escape from too much time with Bob, but she assures me not :-) It also is an indication that she is managing her eye issues well. We see the eye doctor again in early January, hopefully to have much further improvement confirmed.
Over the last 6 months, we have received so many cards and notes. Those that came since Donna is able to digest them have all been read to her but even many of them are not remembered due to her previously spotty memory. Recently she remembers all. You will be happy to know that all of those cards went into a basket beside her bed and she and I will go through all of them again after we get her home. I browsed them this past week and there are so many amazing messages. Thank you. There was one that Donna and I both felt was worth sharing as it hit home. I also remember that it came in the month of August which, aside from coma, was the toughest time of Donna's rehabilitation. I remember well the value of the message to me at the time. It is shared here:
The Oak Tree
A mighty wind blew night and day.
It stole the oak tree's leaves away,
Then snapped its boughs and pulled its bark
Until the oak was tired and stark.
But still the oak tree held its ground
While other trees fell all around.
The weary wind gave up and spoke,
"How can you still be standing, Oak?"
The oak tree said, "I know that you
can break each branch of mine in two,
Carry every leaf away,
Shake my limbs and make me sway.
But I have roots stretched in the earth,
Growing stronger since my birth.
You'll never touch them, for you see,
They are the deepest part of me.
Until today, I wasn't sure
Of just how much I could endure.
But now I've found, with thanks to you,
I'm stronger than I ever knew."
Our plans with Donna are firm now. Donna made her last trip back to Galveston tonight. She'll be home this Wednesday, hopefully followed by a great Christmas at home, starting out-patient therapy on December 31st and living our lives from there. I will cease work for several months on Wednesday also and I'll do all I can to get Donna well down the road. She and I are both really looking forward to it.
We will take a break from this blog for the next few weeks as we savor the holidays with our family. The last blog entry will follow the holidays on January 6. Till then we ready ourselves for all the "last time" activities of the coming week. We are very blessed and grateful.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!
Enjoy your families and see you on Jan 6.
Regards
Bob
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Sunday December 9
As we get closer to the end of Donna's stay in Galveston, time seems to be speeding up. I'm sure it feels that way to all of you as you try to get all those last minute Christmas chores done. For us it feels very transitionary. We're doing all we have been in a typical busy week, while trying to get a good feeling of Christmas going at our house, I'm wrapping up work for a good while, and we are working to get several situations at the house ready for the lifestyle we are about to step into. Over the time we have been in Galveston we have watched a large number of people leave to go home. It has been an interesting set of emotions from them; joy, sadness, apprehension, uncertainty. Donna and I are starting to see those now. The joy is easy to understand. The others I think are rooted in the uncertainty. We'll be finally moving from a situation where professionals guide the process to a situation where professionals supplement in only a limited way. Its just what we prayed so hard for but it does have its uncertainty.
Donna continues to improve slowly. Most notable are her improvements in the walking area. Now armed with her new brace and a green light to be aggressive, her therapists have been stepping up (literally) her walking more. Thursday she was supported by the ZeroG machine (10%) and walked on the treadmill 400 feet. This week her own walker was delivered and she has been walking getting familiar with it. All of this walking comes very slowly and with assistance. It also exhausts her but the improvements are easily measurable. On Friday, I was fortunate to be there when, in the last part of her 2nd physical therapy of the day. they had her walk from the gym to her next session, which happened to be in the next building and upstairs (we use the elevator). I could tell that none of the therapists were sure she would make it all the way but in classic Donna style, she delivered.
Just a couple quickies on Donna's physical therapists (there are 3 in total and they are all great). The primary therapist that works with Donna is Jennifer and she is just awesome. Knowledgable, professional and the sweetest person you will probably ever meet. Needless to say that she and Donna get on just great. Jennifer is also expecting a child in January and my big joke with her has been that we are looked at it as a race with that baby for Donna to get better before that baby is born, and we intend to win. She always laughs and reassures me but I have to say in my mind it really has never been a joke. The other funny thing is that Donna jokes with them often about the distances she has walked because they always want more tomorrow. Donna is always happy to go the distance but her joke is that she really doesn't want them to know the truth so she can manage their expectations a little better. It never works.
Donna's mind is awesome (again). She regularly provides evidence that it is roaring back and even she has had to acknowledge how well she is doing in that area. Its a bit like a dam that only needs a little pinhole to breakthrough. Often she'll ask a tickler question geared toward remembering something and then armed with that small answer she delivers a flood of memory and knowledge. This is an area that it is so easy to smile and be excited. I'm sure this surprises none of you. Also armed with this awareness and her expanding thoughts she has become much more cerebral in her approaches to people and a bit more maternal to some of the other patients. Pretty regularly she sets straight another patient on acceptable behavior but does it in that friendly, maternal way. Several times over the last few weeks, therapists have stopped me and had to tell me about the way she protected another or challenged another intellectually. A couple of the stories are just hilarious and, as usual, the one who tells the story best is Donna. No surprise again that she is a therapist favorite.
Well Donna and I have often said that we could do anything for 6 months. We never imagined that something like this would be one of the options. We come toward 6 months next week and I realize that our staying power is good but all of the lofty expectations that Donna would race back were overly optimistic. I think the most accurate revelation came in the first few weeks when we realized Donna's recovery would be a marathon and not a sprint. Despite all of the awesome progress, we are still somewhere mid-race and everything takes longer than we expect. We have learned patience but there is still that part of us that so doesn't want to be patient. ( I know what you are thinking, Bob...Patience... no way...Well it is amazing what can be done with even hopeless cases). It will be very important to keep this all in mind as we go into our next phase.
Lastly as I run into so many of you, I can tell that I take some off guard by often asking about you and how you and yours are doing early in the conversation. I have to tell you that Donna and I have been talking about us way too much over these last 6 months. The truth is, we are both pretty hungry to know how everyone else is doing and what is going on in their lives. Hopefully hearing this from us will make you more comfortable downloading us.
Well, as we lunge into the last of our time in Galveston. It will be a week of preparation, finalization and reflection. Here we go.....
Regards
Bob
Donna continues to improve slowly. Most notable are her improvements in the walking area. Now armed with her new brace and a green light to be aggressive, her therapists have been stepping up (literally) her walking more. Thursday she was supported by the ZeroG machine (10%) and walked on the treadmill 400 feet. This week her own walker was delivered and she has been walking getting familiar with it. All of this walking comes very slowly and with assistance. It also exhausts her but the improvements are easily measurable. On Friday, I was fortunate to be there when, in the last part of her 2nd physical therapy of the day. they had her walk from the gym to her next session, which happened to be in the next building and upstairs (we use the elevator). I could tell that none of the therapists were sure she would make it all the way but in classic Donna style, she delivered.
Just a couple quickies on Donna's physical therapists (there are 3 in total and they are all great). The primary therapist that works with Donna is Jennifer and she is just awesome. Knowledgable, professional and the sweetest person you will probably ever meet. Needless to say that she and Donna get on just great. Jennifer is also expecting a child in January and my big joke with her has been that we are looked at it as a race with that baby for Donna to get better before that baby is born, and we intend to win. She always laughs and reassures me but I have to say in my mind it really has never been a joke. The other funny thing is that Donna jokes with them often about the distances she has walked because they always want more tomorrow. Donna is always happy to go the distance but her joke is that she really doesn't want them to know the truth so she can manage their expectations a little better. It never works.
Donna's mind is awesome (again). She regularly provides evidence that it is roaring back and even she has had to acknowledge how well she is doing in that area. Its a bit like a dam that only needs a little pinhole to breakthrough. Often she'll ask a tickler question geared toward remembering something and then armed with that small answer she delivers a flood of memory and knowledge. This is an area that it is so easy to smile and be excited. I'm sure this surprises none of you. Also armed with this awareness and her expanding thoughts she has become much more cerebral in her approaches to people and a bit more maternal to some of the other patients. Pretty regularly she sets straight another patient on acceptable behavior but does it in that friendly, maternal way. Several times over the last few weeks, therapists have stopped me and had to tell me about the way she protected another or challenged another intellectually. A couple of the stories are just hilarious and, as usual, the one who tells the story best is Donna. No surprise again that she is a therapist favorite.
Well Donna and I have often said that we could do anything for 6 months. We never imagined that something like this would be one of the options. We come toward 6 months next week and I realize that our staying power is good but all of the lofty expectations that Donna would race back were overly optimistic. I think the most accurate revelation came in the first few weeks when we realized Donna's recovery would be a marathon and not a sprint. Despite all of the awesome progress, we are still somewhere mid-race and everything takes longer than we expect. We have learned patience but there is still that part of us that so doesn't want to be patient. ( I know what you are thinking, Bob...Patience... no way...Well it is amazing what can be done with even hopeless cases). It will be very important to keep this all in mind as we go into our next phase.
Lastly as I run into so many of you, I can tell that I take some off guard by often asking about you and how you and yours are doing early in the conversation. I have to tell you that Donna and I have been talking about us way too much over these last 6 months. The truth is, we are both pretty hungry to know how everyone else is doing and what is going on in their lives. Hopefully hearing this from us will make you more comfortable downloading us.
Well, as we lunge into the last of our time in Galveston. It will be a week of preparation, finalization and reflection. Here we go.....
Regards
Bob
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Sunday December 2
Well we made it to December, with all of its amazing "Merry" aspects. Aside from the blessings of the Christmas holiday and the hopes of the New Year, it also marks the long awaited homecoming for Donna and the start of the next phase of our lives. Donna's departure from Galveston is still scheduled for December 19 and it struck me tonight as I brought her back, that I will bring her back only 2 more times. Whew.. We talk about it and are both very excited for home.
Donna is doing well. She had her doctor's appointment with the surgeon who operated on her leg this past week and his assessment is that she looks great. The leg is healing nicely and the range of motion is just that desired. His report was glowing and it left us feeling the same way. His recommendations were to stand on it and walk as much as possible. Thats where we go next. Donna now wears a brace which she'll use only till she walks more than sits. She got new training shoes to get a better fit also. It was a joy to see her walking better in these shoes late last week and hopefully the next few weeks will bring continuous improvement. Regardless, she is still at a very early stage of walking and her therapy in this area will continue well into the outpatient phase that will come in 2013.
Otherwise Donna starts her last two full weeks of the extensive therapy regime on Monday and her improvements in speech and her right arm are slow but steady.
This week also marked the end of my stay in the medical center. I moved home late last week and will be preparing for Donna's arrival soon. It was a happy but very clear reminder of the journey as I left the apartment. Lots of memories of TIRR including late night visits to the hospital and many fears came roaring back as I sorted through remnants in the apartment. The memories seem ages ago but help me recall the journey and amazingly how easily it slips behind us.
Two other things threw me back into past pain this week. One was when Donna started back with sweaty spells which had plagued her daily during her coma period. It was interesting that these sweaty spells, which have been absent for several months, seemed new to her now but very familiar to me as we passed a cool towel on her then regularly to try and give her relief. One of the first words she said to me coming out from coma was in one of these spells when she said "helps so much". Now the whole topics seems pretty minor :-)
The other throwback moment came on Saturday morning when circumstances caused us to be in a place where we either had to go well out of our way to avoid the accident location to get home or drive the road where it happened (Donna and I both in the car). I don't think Donna realized where we were but all of my emotions were in hyperdrive. In some ways it was good to face the situation but it brought it all racing back... Glad thats over.
Donna and I continued our baby steps into really living our lives by going out for coffee in Galveston Friday night and catching some street music, as well as, Donna attending an annual cookie exchange she enjoys very much at a nearby neighbors home. These were real life fun and were precursors to the plans we have when she gets home to fully live our lives regardless of the stage of Donna's improvement. Donna and I are both really looking forward to it.
Along those lines of moving on with our lives, this blog dedicated to Donna's recovery also will need to meet an end at some point. I've decided that the time for that end will be early January 2013 after we get a taste of the new life and see the the outpatient recovery regime we'll move into. That will give us 4-6 more posts and hopefully an opportunity to share with you how we get ourselves set in what will be our lives. As it gets closer, I'll share info on how people who want to know how we are doing can contact us. I know for some this will be a loss of good info but as we shift to a living, and not recovery, mode, it seems like the right time.
Lastly, Donna got a new roommate this week. She's a sweet young lady (only 17) who's parents are extremely nice and in Galveston also as their home is in Arkansas. Difficult. I haven't said much about Donna and roommates is quite a while but she has had 3 at TLC and all have been a joy. She has enjoyed their company and they hers. As Donna has become the unofficial mom of the the facility, she really makes the experience for all around her so much more pleasant and tolerable. Some things never change. Donna's roommate's parents told me tonight that they would like for their daughter to remember her math. Oh my.... I guess you can see what is coming next. It looks like the next phase of Donna's recovery may be tutoring. Some things really don't change.
Hope your preparations for Christmas are happy and joyous. Ours are.
Regards
Bob
Donna is doing well. She had her doctor's appointment with the surgeon who operated on her leg this past week and his assessment is that she looks great. The leg is healing nicely and the range of motion is just that desired. His report was glowing and it left us feeling the same way. His recommendations were to stand on it and walk as much as possible. Thats where we go next. Donna now wears a brace which she'll use only till she walks more than sits. She got new training shoes to get a better fit also. It was a joy to see her walking better in these shoes late last week and hopefully the next few weeks will bring continuous improvement. Regardless, she is still at a very early stage of walking and her therapy in this area will continue well into the outpatient phase that will come in 2013.
Otherwise Donna starts her last two full weeks of the extensive therapy regime on Monday and her improvements in speech and her right arm are slow but steady.
This week also marked the end of my stay in the medical center. I moved home late last week and will be preparing for Donna's arrival soon. It was a happy but very clear reminder of the journey as I left the apartment. Lots of memories of TIRR including late night visits to the hospital and many fears came roaring back as I sorted through remnants in the apartment. The memories seem ages ago but help me recall the journey and amazingly how easily it slips behind us.
Two other things threw me back into past pain this week. One was when Donna started back with sweaty spells which had plagued her daily during her coma period. It was interesting that these sweaty spells, which have been absent for several months, seemed new to her now but very familiar to me as we passed a cool towel on her then regularly to try and give her relief. One of the first words she said to me coming out from coma was in one of these spells when she said "helps so much". Now the whole topics seems pretty minor :-)
The other throwback moment came on Saturday morning when circumstances caused us to be in a place where we either had to go well out of our way to avoid the accident location to get home or drive the road where it happened (Donna and I both in the car). I don't think Donna realized where we were but all of my emotions were in hyperdrive. In some ways it was good to face the situation but it brought it all racing back... Glad thats over.
Donna and I continued our baby steps into really living our lives by going out for coffee in Galveston Friday night and catching some street music, as well as, Donna attending an annual cookie exchange she enjoys very much at a nearby neighbors home. These were real life fun and were precursors to the plans we have when she gets home to fully live our lives regardless of the stage of Donna's improvement. Donna and I are both really looking forward to it.
Along those lines of moving on with our lives, this blog dedicated to Donna's recovery also will need to meet an end at some point. I've decided that the time for that end will be early January 2013 after we get a taste of the new life and see the the outpatient recovery regime we'll move into. That will give us 4-6 more posts and hopefully an opportunity to share with you how we get ourselves set in what will be our lives. As it gets closer, I'll share info on how people who want to know how we are doing can contact us. I know for some this will be a loss of good info but as we shift to a living, and not recovery, mode, it seems like the right time.
Lastly, Donna got a new roommate this week. She's a sweet young lady (only 17) who's parents are extremely nice and in Galveston also as their home is in Arkansas. Difficult. I haven't said much about Donna and roommates is quite a while but she has had 3 at TLC and all have been a joy. She has enjoyed their company and they hers. As Donna has become the unofficial mom of the the facility, she really makes the experience for all around her so much more pleasant and tolerable. Some things never change. Donna's roommate's parents told me tonight that they would like for their daughter to remember her math. Oh my.... I guess you can see what is coming next. It looks like the next phase of Donna's recovery may be tutoring. Some things really don't change.
Hope your preparations for Christmas are happy and joyous. Ours are.
Regards
Bob
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