Our Thanksgiving week started with two blessings, one very clear and the second disguised. The clear blessing was our success in bringing Donna home for the Thanksgiving holiday. We were able to bring her home for the 4 full days and we were thrilled. The second blessing was the result of me forgetting my phone in Donna's Galveston room when we went to pick her up. My first reaction when I learned of the problem when arriving home was concern but soon I realized what a blessing to be disconnected for the holiday weekend.
A lot of effort generated a complete Thanksgiving dinner at our house with all of Donna's favorites. She devoured it all. It was also awesome to have both Donna's and my parents in attendance. Seeing Donna sitting in a regular dining room chair at the end of the table was a beautiful sight. The weekend was such a joy and, as normal, we had enough food to make Thanksgiving dinner keep on giving. Tonight as Donna polished off a full plate again, she just kept saying how much she loved it. So many times over the last few months I have hoped that Thanksgiving would maybe be close to the end of this journey. Now I know that isn't nearly true but it did mark remarkable progress and great joy.
Physically Donna did have her cast removed on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving (don't you just love people who do what they say they will) and she is well on her way to transitioning into her brace that will serve her till she is walking more than sitting, which is when the brace will no longer be necessary. Otherwise she just works hard with a good attitude and steady slow progress. This is all we can ask for.
As we start preparing for Donna to be home, we stepped out into some of the activities we'll use to get some therapy in but also have fun. One of those we did today was gardening. With no shortage of weeds in Donna's beloved flower beds and a beautiful Houston Sunday, we strolled outside and plopped her into one of our front yard beds for some hand therapy (wait, I mean gardening....). Those who have been around us in our last few houses know that you could have showed up on any fair weather day, chances are you would have found Donna in her flower beds just as happy as could be. Today she and I had great fun until she got tired and it sure seemed great to put another of our pre-injury activities back into the repertoire.
Our countdown to home begins from here. We can see clearly now to a planned December 19 discharge and the move to home. Therapy will be at its most intense now and Donna looks like she is ready. This weekend made it clear that Donna's homecoming will be a great milestone, a lot of work and a great opportunity to watch her grow materially. It is all we could ask for.
Thanks for all your support
Bob
PS I'll be looking for some help when we get home starting with a few mornings a week and potentially growing. Let me know if you have any leads on someone that would be a good fit with Donna. A caring and dependable person is a higher priority for us than experience. Thanks and hope you all had a very Happy Thanksgiving.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Monday, November 19, 2012
Sunday November 18
All, a very busy week and weekend here so I'll get
to it.
Donna is great. Her cast was cut for leg
measurements on Tuesday and the inspection of her incision revealed that it
looked very good. The cast was replaced and this Wednesday afternoon it should
be finished. woo hoo.
I talk so much about all of her accomplishments and
steer clear of really personal topics so I sometimes worry that her status in
this forum comes across a little sugar coated. I thought I would spend a
little time on her challenges to better share the balance of it all.
First her leg and walking. No, Donna doesn't yet walk on her
own. With the cast coming off Wednesday, we'll get our first look at her
walking which will be assisted and with a walker over short distances. We
are all a bit anxious and apprehensive. We know balance is still an
issue that is improving but isn't quite there yet. So regardless of the
leg capabilities, she is not yet ready to run off. Also effecting the
walking is her right arm strength, thats right I said Arm. This is
because for her to be independent walking, she has to hold and steer the walker
with both hands. I'll talk more about the arm next.
Donna's right arm has improved materially but keep
in mind that is from little use to considerable range and use of all her motor
functions. Strength and coordination is a steady improvement process but
still has a way to go. She can get her right hand to where she wants and
can move all the parts, it just may be a bit weak and not as coordinated as she
would like. We remain wildly optimistic regarding the right arm
potential. Donna is just over the last week redeveloping the habit of
trying to use it productively. After 4 plus months of no capability to
use it, bad habits get formed. I really feel this is a time and effort
solution but it is amazing how many daily activities are affected by having a
limited arm function. The issue that could be a problem are the tremors Donna has on her left arm and hand. They are more than nuisance and we are learning more as time goes by. Prognosis is unknown at this stage.
Regarding her brain, she is great. This is
great news because this is the part we can't fix. Aside from some
residual minor short term memory lapses (she's almost better than me now) she
is great between the ears. Healing continues as she is not quite at her
own high standards but all seems well.
So aside from ongoing hard work, only two new
activities went on this week 1) I was gone for several days and Donna had the
joy of being surrounded by her kids and 2) I remain engaged in a bit of an
insurance battle over Donna being at home over the Thanksgiving holiday.
On the Bob away and Sarah and John in charge topic, I managed to attend an annual retreat in Louisiana Thursday, Friday Saturday
and Sunday. That's right 4 days. I only missed seeing Donna 4 days
over the last the last 5 months, so 4 days in a week was a big deal for me.
I wasn't at all worried about her because it gave Sarah a chance to see
her at work in Galveston and I knew what a blast Donna would have in the
company of both her children this weekend. I expect to see her glowing still
when I see her tomorrow. Timing for me to be away was great as Donna
continues to improve, next month will see both her and my situation changing,
and the weather was ideal. Truth is the break did me well. By all
reports, the weekend went well for all.
On Thanksgiving, I'm not worried as we will do what
it takes to make it work, but these are the tribulations that make life
difficult. We are getting help from all the right people so I am quite
optimistic. One way or another we will give thanks at our table at home
with Donna.
So as we all sit down for a Thanksgiving of great
thanks, I recall many months ago thinking maybe by Thanksgiving we'll have this
sorted. Well no, but we have so much to be thankful for. Our lives
while tossed on their ear, have become amazingly simple and clear and the depth
of the blessings we have been showered with could not be clearer either.
I very much hope all of you hold your loved ones tight this holiday, and
for the many that have crosses of their own, I hope it brings you peace.
I have to admit that this blog originated with a
desire to simply push information out efficiently. I so often get
comments and cards from people telling me that it has helped them so much
themselves and also those that they have shared it with. That is so great
but it still didn't seem to explain the strong connection and feelings that
seem to be generated when I run into people, talk to them on the phone or
through notes. This weekend, something was said at my retreat that seemed
to be the missing puzzle piece for me. The Jesuit priest who led the
retreat said, " We become part of each others lives by the stories we
share." That was it, the missing piece. Donna and I feel very
honored to have you all as part of our lives and for us to be part of yours.
I think this is a good lesson for all of us (especially those like me who
wouldn't probably have shared much in a manly way) that life experiences shared
bind and enrich us all. I have a good friend in Pittsburgh, who I admire greatly, for teaching me the good in sharing during tough times.
Thanks for all of your prayers and support for the
finest lady I know, Happy Thanksgiving
Regards
Bob
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Sunday November 11
Hard work is on, Donna is doing great and the pathway to home is now clear. Wow I've waited a long time to say those last 6 words : pathway to home is now clear. I'll give you the details but first how Donna is doing.
She works her butt off. It has now become a bit routine for her to break a sweat in either her physical therapy sessions or occupational therapy. Anyone who knows her knows how much she likes that normally (not..) but she does it here with a smile and steely eyed focus. She knows what is at stake. The therapy regime is just the way we like it hard, exhausting and yielding steady improvement. This past week a meeting with her therapy team resulting in improved reports in all areas. Donna's right arm has seen the most improvement with her range improving greatly from where she was when she got here. She uses that hand and arm regularly now and the change (while slow) is noticeable.
Her surgically enhanced right leg is not hurting at all and medical staff are coming next Tuesday to cut her cast and measure for her interim brace. She'll wear the cast (hinged) for another week and it is planned to come off once and for all the day before Thanksgiving. What you should be thinking is "the day before Thanksgiving?". I know, I'm skeptical too but you never know. God willing we'll be eating turkey without a cast. Donna walks on the cast now and routinely walks around the gym with the assistance of a walker and some staff assistance. She gets a little better at this all the time.
So what are our long awaited forward plans......... After much thought, prayer and Donna's hard work, our plans have taken shape. Donna will be in Galveston into December and our tentative plan is for her to finish there prior to Christmas (target date December 19). In the interim we will be home on Thanksgiving and giving much thanks. Donna will get a break over the Christmas holiday at home and then start her outpatient therapy first of the year. It is also decided that I will stop working December 19 and be home with her for at least a few months to get her well on the path and hopefully to some level of independence. We have no illusions that there is still a lot left to do but this blessed step of coming home is the one that at times was hard to imagine and now is a major milestone. June 16, the day of the accident seems a lifetime ago.
I want to give a little more info on two more topics 1) How is Donna feeling and 2) a little about the facility she is at in Galveston (TLC). Donna has her days when it all gets her down. Amazingly these have been few but it happens. She wants to stay positive and is such a believer in the power of prayer and hard work that she knows it is all possible but at time the doubts creep in. The value of people marking her progress through periodic visits and the encouragement of her support network mean the world to her. She still takes an interest in the other patients and therapists and we'll both be forever changed by the amazing people and stories. These help her attitude. While there is no sense of competitiveness, you can not help but wish you move as fast as the fastest improving patients, your heart pours out for the slowest moving patients but sometimes all helps her realize her own pace of improvement in a situation where it is sometimes hard to see improvement pace.
I have wanted to describe the support culture that exists at TLC Galveston and why it suits Donna. All they do is brain injury rehabilitation and there are only about 20 patients. The facility is situated in a prior girls catholic school complex that takes a full city block in Galveston. Patients move between 3 buildings that house, a gym, therapy rooms, residential section etc.... Most importantly they take a very personal touch and care a lot. I recall a recent story that typifies the overall cooperative culture. One Saturday morning I was sitting with Donna as she finished her breakfast before we headed home, at the next table were two patients, one who had been there for a good while and another in his first week. Every time the new patient had a need, the other reached over and adjusted his plate, swiveled his plate, or fixed his napkin. It was such a sincere expression of support by someone who may have been in the role of need only a little time prior. It summarized for me the personal caring approach that permeates all facets here. Everyone knows everybody and that makes it feel more supportive. Even tonight as I dropped Donna off, she was welcomed by so many. It makes that sad moment when I walk out each night palatable.
So with the timetable we have, all seems like its moving faster. Donna will still have a good bit to work through even after we head home but progress is a blessing.
A little while ago Donna and I drove the few blocks to the beach on a beautiful evening with the sun setting. We opened the windows and just listened to the waves with our eyes closed. A rare moment of peace. Thought you would enjoy the image below.
Thank you for your prayers and support.
Bob
She works her butt off. It has now become a bit routine for her to break a sweat in either her physical therapy sessions or occupational therapy. Anyone who knows her knows how much she likes that normally (not..) but she does it here with a smile and steely eyed focus. She knows what is at stake. The therapy regime is just the way we like it hard, exhausting and yielding steady improvement. This past week a meeting with her therapy team resulting in improved reports in all areas. Donna's right arm has seen the most improvement with her range improving greatly from where she was when she got here. She uses that hand and arm regularly now and the change (while slow) is noticeable.
Her surgically enhanced right leg is not hurting at all and medical staff are coming next Tuesday to cut her cast and measure for her interim brace. She'll wear the cast (hinged) for another week and it is planned to come off once and for all the day before Thanksgiving. What you should be thinking is "the day before Thanksgiving?". I know, I'm skeptical too but you never know. God willing we'll be eating turkey without a cast. Donna walks on the cast now and routinely walks around the gym with the assistance of a walker and some staff assistance. She gets a little better at this all the time.
So what are our long awaited forward plans......... After much thought, prayer and Donna's hard work, our plans have taken shape. Donna will be in Galveston into December and our tentative plan is for her to finish there prior to Christmas (target date December 19). In the interim we will be home on Thanksgiving and giving much thanks. Donna will get a break over the Christmas holiday at home and then start her outpatient therapy first of the year. It is also decided that I will stop working December 19 and be home with her for at least a few months to get her well on the path and hopefully to some level of independence. We have no illusions that there is still a lot left to do but this blessed step of coming home is the one that at times was hard to imagine and now is a major milestone. June 16, the day of the accident seems a lifetime ago.
I want to give a little more info on two more topics 1) How is Donna feeling and 2) a little about the facility she is at in Galveston (TLC). Donna has her days when it all gets her down. Amazingly these have been few but it happens. She wants to stay positive and is such a believer in the power of prayer and hard work that she knows it is all possible but at time the doubts creep in. The value of people marking her progress through periodic visits and the encouragement of her support network mean the world to her. She still takes an interest in the other patients and therapists and we'll both be forever changed by the amazing people and stories. These help her attitude. While there is no sense of competitiveness, you can not help but wish you move as fast as the fastest improving patients, your heart pours out for the slowest moving patients but sometimes all helps her realize her own pace of improvement in a situation where it is sometimes hard to see improvement pace.
I have wanted to describe the support culture that exists at TLC Galveston and why it suits Donna. All they do is brain injury rehabilitation and there are only about 20 patients. The facility is situated in a prior girls catholic school complex that takes a full city block in Galveston. Patients move between 3 buildings that house, a gym, therapy rooms, residential section etc.... Most importantly they take a very personal touch and care a lot. I recall a recent story that typifies the overall cooperative culture. One Saturday morning I was sitting with Donna as she finished her breakfast before we headed home, at the next table were two patients, one who had been there for a good while and another in his first week. Every time the new patient had a need, the other reached over and adjusted his plate, swiveled his plate, or fixed his napkin. It was such a sincere expression of support by someone who may have been in the role of need only a little time prior. It summarized for me the personal caring approach that permeates all facets here. Everyone knows everybody and that makes it feel more supportive. Even tonight as I dropped Donna off, she was welcomed by so many. It makes that sad moment when I walk out each night palatable.
So with the timetable we have, all seems like its moving faster. Donna will still have a good bit to work through even after we head home but progress is a blessing.
A little while ago Donna and I drove the few blocks to the beach on a beautiful evening with the sun setting. We opened the windows and just listened to the waves with our eyes closed. A rare moment of peace. Thought you would enjoy the image below.
Thank you for your prayers and support.
Bob
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Sunday November 4
Donna remains well but exhausted. A hard week of therapy found her pretty well spent on Friday. Most weekday evenings we sit in one of the family areas, sit on sofa and visit (makes us feel a little like home). Friday her head slowly tilted and tilted until it was limp on my shoulder and it was clear that she had expended all she had as she fell asleep. It is really just what we want, Donna to maximize therapy intensity. Many ask about her attitude as it is easy to believe it could be challenging after all she has been through. Amazingly it is awesome. She welcomes the hard work, understands the goals she pursues and realizes the two are directly related. She does see the improvements she makes and turns those wins into motivation also. Not so surprising for her.
We're two weeks into the 4 weeks with her cast. The cast will be off before you know it. Donna has had no pain and continues to walk on it every day. Progress.
One of the great difficulties for months has been Donna's lost drivers license. I've spent hours and hours trying to overcome this lost picture ID as it has been needed for a bunch of important issues. The drivers license people would not issue a new one unless Donna appeared in person, not something we could pull off. Well this weekend Donna wore a dress to church. Boy did she look great. We had been working our way up to it the last few weeks but a few misfires. Finally we were ready based on some help from others. As we were getting ready to go she said "How about jewelry?" Well it made great sense but it was another issue I had yet to tackle. After not locating much of her jewelry, I remembered where her jewelry from the day of the accident was stored. As I looked through the packets of jewelry secured by the hospital security team, Voila', there was the drivers license MIA for the last 5 months. Wow could that have saved some trouble but we were very glad to find it. You would be surprised how much the DL is used for beyond driving.
This week will have us doing some safety adaptations at our house to accommodate Donna when she gets there. Just one more indication that homecoming time is getting closer. Based on the excellent work being done in Galveston, I am now suspecting this homecoming will not be this month but probably December although everything is always subject to change. We don't plan too far in advance, we just don't have that luxury.
Donna does well and our routine is becoming more and more ingrained. All good here, God willing. This blog goes weekly from here on (Sunday's). That also is a sign of progress as we trend back toward something that will resemble a normal life style. Thanks for all your support
Bob
We're two weeks into the 4 weeks with her cast. The cast will be off before you know it. Donna has had no pain and continues to walk on it every day. Progress.
One of the great difficulties for months has been Donna's lost drivers license. I've spent hours and hours trying to overcome this lost picture ID as it has been needed for a bunch of important issues. The drivers license people would not issue a new one unless Donna appeared in person, not something we could pull off. Well this weekend Donna wore a dress to church. Boy did she look great. We had been working our way up to it the last few weeks but a few misfires. Finally we were ready based on some help from others. As we were getting ready to go she said "How about jewelry?" Well it made great sense but it was another issue I had yet to tackle. After not locating much of her jewelry, I remembered where her jewelry from the day of the accident was stored. As I looked through the packets of jewelry secured by the hospital security team, Voila', there was the drivers license MIA for the last 5 months. Wow could that have saved some trouble but we were very glad to find it. You would be surprised how much the DL is used for beyond driving.
This week will have us doing some safety adaptations at our house to accommodate Donna when she gets there. Just one more indication that homecoming time is getting closer. Based on the excellent work being done in Galveston, I am now suspecting this homecoming will not be this month but probably December although everything is always subject to change. We don't plan too far in advance, we just don't have that luxury.
Donna does well and our routine is becoming more and more ingrained. All good here, God willing. This blog goes weekly from here on (Sunday's). That also is a sign of progress as we trend back toward something that will resemble a normal life style. Thanks for all your support
Bob
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